Nobody's Perfect
by Pandanoia
Summary: Emyrald's life is an abyss of endless darkness... but then she falls into Kingdom Hearts! Liek OMG. Not supposed to be taken seriously. Birthday fic.


**A/N: Wow, this is really late. lol I suck. Happy b-day Rozzzyyyllyyynn **

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Her name was Sakura Flower Bella Ravenclaw Misery Kagome Fatality Gryffindor Rukia Unicorn Raven Sparkly Athena Rainbow Hermione Persephone Rin Usagi Akuroku Skittles Faerie Blood Jiminy Cricket Serenity Princess Toadstool Yoda Pandora Hufflepuff Buffy Abyss Slytherin Emerald Ruby Sasunaru Anastasia Rose Serena Melody Yuki Kawaii Neko Chan, but her mother always called her Emyrald for the stunning shade of her pitch black, dazzling bright blue eyes. That was, her mother called her Emyrald before THE ACCIDENT. Even though she was only three days old at the time, the gruesome images of her parents' death haunted her vividly.

She was sitting across from her mother and father in their expensive car that was only released in Europe when suddenly a deer ran across their path. Her father swerved off the road catapulting into a conveniently placed cliff where a flock of birds saved Emyrald from her surely impending doom. The birds raised her as one of their own but soon her need for revenge forced her to brutally slaughter them and run off to fend for herself in the wild. Emyrald was old enough to take care of herself, she was already 6. After running approximately 200 miles from her former home **(A/N: Emyrald has S00p3r Sp33d and Str3ngth. Srry I forgot to mention)** she found herself in a busy city. Crying tears of despair she settled on a park bench to sleep for the night only to awaken chained to a wall.

"OMG, where am I?!" She sobbed mournfully, her musical voice bouncing off the stone walls.

An evil looking man stepped out from the shadows.

"Muahahaahaahaha," he laughed evilly.

He turned out to be an evil old man named Mr. B who hated everything. For the next ten years he abused Emyrald, forcing her to come in from the cold and eat vegetables and such. It was terrible, her only solace was her beaten and broken copies of KHI and KHII. It was her dream to play Chain of Memories but Mr. B. only let her have a PS2 and no gameboy. Poor Emyrald!

Now Emyrald was 16. Her short, pin-straight blonde hair cascaded into ebony curls, falling silkily to her waist. Emyrald wasn't anorexic, but you would have to be mad to call her fat. Her skinny yet voluptuous figure was one many girls would die for. Emyrald's black eyes now changed color with her moods, turning a deep crimson in anger, or the lightest shade of blue when she was happy. But usually that never happened because Emyrald's life was very miserable and emo.

She had no friends because all the girls were jealous of her great beauty, and all the boys hit on her and tried to rape her whenever she passed. When this happened she used her super strength to castrate them. It was pretty cool.

One day, when she arrived home, she found that one of her nails had broke.

"WTF? My life sucks. THERE IS NO POINT IN LIVING!" She wailed, throwing herself gracefully onto the couch.

"Are you okay?" Mr. B. asked, poking his head in from the kitchen.

"NO!! Stop being so mean to me!! You don't understand me at all. I HATE YOU!" As her crystalline tears fell from her eyes, she ran swiftly from the room, collapsing in front of her PS2.

"You are my only friend," Emyrald said mournfully, stroking the cover of Kingdom Hearts.

Slowly removing the disk from its case she held it up to her wrist, slowly slicing into her pale, tan skin. Then, she began to sing some song by Evanescence. Or maybe it was Kelly Clarkson. No, No it was that Hannah Montana song. Whoops. Afterwards, when she was a little more calm, she cleaned up the blood and turned on her PS2. After passing through through the World that Never was fairly quickly (She's really really good at video games), she arrived at that scene where Riku takes off that fugly Organization XIII robe.

"OH EM GEE! RIKU IS SO HAAWWWTT!" She squealed fangirlishly. "I wish I knew Riku. Only he would be able to understand my pain" Emyrald looked down at the floor, perfect tears beginning to fall from her eyes.

"OH WHY IS LIFE SO UNFAIR!!" Emyrald tried to gracefully throw herself onto her bed but unlike the couch, it didn't have a back so she rolled off the other side, landing prettily onto the floor. Too lazy and tired to get up, this is where she slept.

Her dreams were, of course, painful as usual. She was walking in a graveyard, then a forest, until a new image filled her mind. She was surrounded by Heartless! OMG! Thinking quickly she finally leapt lithely onto the nearest podium, retrieving the weapon atop it. It was the shield.

"The shield? Hell no!"

Throwing it down, she retrieved the Mage's Staff, using her inner power to upgrade it to the highest level. Using her natural born skill, she swiped at all the heartless, effectively killing them all with only two blows. Never mind, it was only one. Suddenly hit by a wave of fatigue, she collapsed, suddenly falling into a black abyss of light. Emyrald thought she was dying, even though she's too perfect to die (she has healing powers too).

Then, a scene opened. She was floating, actually falling, through the sky, plummeting straight into the water. She broke the surface, her face immediatly soaked by the mass amount of blue water surrounding her. She waded around underwater, finally opening her eyes. All she could see was broken amounts of pixelated, black shapes.

"WTF?" She thought, "Oh, LOL, I must be in Destiny Islands." Emyrald concluded. "The animators didn't bother with underwater."

Coming up for air, she looked around. There was the island, a little far from where she was swimming. Then she heard three voices.

"OMG! That must be Sora, Riku, and Kairi!" Emyrald immediately forgot how to swim, so Sora or Riku could come in and save her.

"HEEEELLLLPPPP!" She cried frantically, waving her arms around in a frenzy.

Just before everything went black, she felt a pair of strong arms pull her in.

Soon after, Emyrald woke on the beach. She was dry already because, you know, nobody stays wet for that long in animations. Suddenly, a sharp pain hit her side.

"Sora! Don't kick her!" A high, girly voice filled Emyrald's ears. She assumed it was that bitch, Kairi.

"Hey, Hey you, are you awake?" Someone else, slowly poked her shoulder.

_"Oh, that must be Riku_!" Emyrald thought happily_, "Maybe if I pretend to be dead a little while longer he'll use mouth to mou_--OUCH!" Emyrald suddenly sat up, crying out as a sharp object came into contact with her head.

"Sora, what did we tell you about waking people up with the keyblade?" Kairi said angrily.

"Oh come on, I didn't hit her that hard," Sora complained whinily.

Emyrald's eyes widened, taking in her surroundings. OMG, Riku was so hot!

She met his gaze, smiling shyly. Riku stared back caught by a sudden urge to jump her.

"Emyrald, I love you!" He professed, grabbing both of her hands.

Overlooking the fact that she didn't tell Riku her name yet, she smiled happily.

"LOL! Riku, I heart you too :D"

"Let's go run off into the sunset together!"

"Okay!"

But before any sunset running could happen, a dark, sexy sounding voice broke in.

"If you want her, you'll have to go through me!"

Riku jumped up as a spikey red fire-thingie almost incapacitated him. Riku looked around in disbelief before narrowing his eyes at the red-haired man standing across the beach.

"Axel, WTF?"

Coming up behind her, Axel grabbed Emyrald around the waist.

"You don't deserve Emyrald, she's too good for you."

"Wait, how do you know her?"

"I don't, but that is a minor detail I can easily overlook."

Emyrald began to cry.

"GUYS, STOP FIGHTING, I DON'T WANT ANYONE TO GET HURT!" She wailed, stepping in between the two men.

Riku looked at her in confusion. "We weren't fighting..."

"But that's a good idea!" Axel finished, setting his hands alight.

Riku quickly withdrew his keyblade.

"You killed my father! Prepare to die!"

Axel stopped the witty comeback he was about to utter.

"What?"

Riku rolled his eyes.

"It doesn't matter what I say, I'm just using dramatic lines to make this fight more interesting."

"Oh, okay."

And the fight began. Emyrald gasped in fear, as the boys hacked away at each other with their respective weapons. Suddenly Axel keeled over in pain.

"Shit, my contacts!"

Riku groaned in frustration, drawing back.

"Fine, fix them, I'll wait." He said, crossing his arms and tapping his foot impatiently.

Axel pulled out the small, clear circle, revealing the muddy brown underneath the dazzling green. Riku stepped back in astonishment.

"Wait, you mean your eyes aren't really that ridiculously bright shade?"

Rolling his eyes, Axel popped his lens back in, blinking a few times, "Ha, no, nobody has eyes naturally that color."

Riku gave Emyrald a suspicious glance. Emyrald stepped back from Axel, a look of disgust on her face.

"Oh, ew, I definitely choose Riku, I only date guys with exotic eye colors," She said, trying to make the rejection easier for Axel to bear.

Axel shrugged, "Oh, I was getting bored anyway," Axel drew a portal and whistled into it shrilly. "Hey Roxas!"

Emyrald turned to Riku now, her eyes sparkling with glittering tears.

"Riku! Now we can finally be together!" She squealed, clapping her hands happily.

Riku shuffled his feet, looking around.

"Ya, about that... You see, Emyrald," Riku began, "I've been wanting to tell you something for a long time now. I know we've known each other for a while now. These 4 hours we've had together have been great. But I can't deny my true feelings."

Riku rushed to Sora's side, dropping to his knees.

"Sora, I love you."

Sora looked at his best friend warily.

"Oh, okay."

They immediately began making out, leaving Emyrald standing in shock. Kairi wandered over, shaking her head.

"Don't worry, you get used to it after a while."

Emyrald looked around in horror, how had everything fallen apart so easily. Her angst was interrupted however by the arrival of Roxas, sprinting through the portal.

"Axelpoo!" He cried, pirouetting gracefully into Axel's outstretching arms.

"Roxy! We should run off into the sunset together!" Axel said jovially, as he immediately began to locate which direction West was.

"Hey Riku, we should do that too!" Sora said enthusiastically.

Roxas looked at the sun, frowning, "But it's still the afternoon."

The four looked down sullenly, dissapointed that their plans for sunset running were ruined. Soon, however, they realized that it the sun would be setting in a few short hours, and decided to wait just a little longer. In nearly no time at all, they all jumped up, joining hands and run/skipped happily into the setting sun, where happy colerful rainbows and gay pride parades greeted them.

And they lived happily ever aft--

"WTF? What about me!" Emyrald interrupted the narrator (probably Morgan Freemen) angrily.

Oh, you. I forgot.

Emyrald crossed her arms, grunting huffily. She heard a voice behind her. She turned around to see a small African American boy standing around lazily.

"Oh hey," Walt said, waving.

Struck by a sudden urge, Emyrald ran into the jungle (which randomly showed up after the departure of Soriku and Akuroku). She heard voices, what were they saying? Obviously not in her best interests, she continued towards the sounds of speedily approaching people. Emyrald heard a loud yell, then a bang.

Then she saw black.

"Oh, shit," Ana Lucia swore, throwing her gun into a nearby bush before looking around guiltily.

"SHHAAANNNOOONNN!" Sayid cried, bursting through the trees, cradling Emyald's dead body.

"Sayid, what?" Shannon asked, walking in through the brush.

"Oh, that's not you?" Sayid asked, immediately dropping the girl in his arms. "I would've never been able to tell, you two look exactly alike."

"Who is this chick anyway," Ana Lucia kicked the corpse lightly.

"She must be one of the...OTHERS." Hurley said ominously, cuing dramatic music.

Jack kneeled by her side, tears forming.

"I could have saved her!" Bitter tears fell onto Emyrald's body, as Jack cried out in anguish. He stood up.

"Okay, let's go back to the beach now."

But a knife suddenly whizzed past his ear, exploding into a parade of confetti.

"WTF, Locke?" Jack complained angrily.

"I don't know," Locke said, stepping sketchily out from behind a few trees, "This just needed to be ended with a randomly insane plot twist to leave you hanging." He stepped back, his eyes twitching in Locke-like expression.

LOST

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**A/N: (twitches)  
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